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"Random New Years Thoughts"

I canít afford a new year. I may have to look for a good used one. 

"Fruitcake will out." 
Ben Franklinís evil twin.

The New Years "Toast" comes from the ancient tradition 
of casting virgins into a volcano to welcome the new year. 
The ritual lost popularity due to a growing lack of contestants. 

"Ptui" is a Greek letter that never gained popularity, 
due to the failure of Irving Berlinís song "The Sweetheart Of Sigma Ptui". 

The new and old years are often represented 
by a baby and a very old man, 
both wearing diapers. 

The year 2002 spelled backwards is, of course, the same. 
Spelled sideways, it is 0022, 
pronounced: "Oh Oh! Tutu!", 
an ancient warning that a ballet dancer was approaching. 

I never make resolutions, 
but last year I gave up hope for Lent. 

Different cultures have opposing opinions as to when the old year ends. 
Try telling that to the tax collectors. 

Years are imaginary concepts, created by humansÖ 
like weather forecasters and economists. 

Even though it may be the wrong time, 
I still say: Happy New Year, friends. 

Jack Blanchard 

Copyright © December 29, 2001 by Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved.


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