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"Another L.A. Story"

I never wanted to be a starlet, but I always wanted to visit Hollywood.

Mercury Records set up a deal for us to be on the Lawrence welk TV Show. 
We didn't see how we'd fit on that show.

Charlie McCoy told me that Welk said to his band, 
"Pee on your toes, poys." 
I also heard that he told his group, 
"Look like you're having a good time, but don't have one." 
I saw him on a talk show once where he was asked 
what he thought would be best for our country. 
He said: "Eliminate the minimum wage and abolish the child labor laws." 
All heart.

Our doubts proved to be "right on", as they said back then. 
Welk's producer got a look at me and backed out of the deal. 
They had Guy and Ralna sing "Tennessee Birdwalk".

Our friends back at Mercury saved the day by booking us on two other shows: 
Dick Clark's American Bandstand and The Robert W. Morgan Show. 
Dick Clark spent a lot of time hanging out with us. 
I told him, "You really are a nice guy," 
and he said, "That's all I've got going."

We had asked to stay at the legendary, 
but rundown Hollywood Plaza Hotel at Hollywood and Vine. 
By the time we got there it seemed like a retirement home for old actors. 
All the familiar faces sat around the lobby. 
Our air conditioner stopped working and we called the front desk. 
The man who came up to look at it was Maxey Rosenbloom, 
the great comic character actor and ex-boxer.

We saw the drugstore where Lana Turner was discovered. 
In the seventies they needed a bouncer to keep the druggies out.

At the Robert W. Morgan Show, we got lost backstage 
and wandered into Tina Turner's dressing room by mistake. 
Do you know what she did?

She started singing "Tennessee Birdwalk."

Copyright  January 23, 2001 by Jack Blanchard. All Rights Reserved.


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