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"Dirty Words Are Hidden Everywhere"
by Jack Blanchard
Dirty words are everywhere
if you look for them.
An elderly lady called the police
about a naked man in the window across the street.
The cop said "I don't see anything."
The lady said "Oh No? Just stand on this table and have a look!"
Some people have profanity filters on their computers
that are like that lady.
They get all excited
when they find stuff in words like "scrap metal", "association"
and "booby trap"..
I sent out a nightly email
and got rejected by two recipients for "Vulgarity".
Radio station WSM and others
have installed a software program that blushes
at even the hint of a naughty word.
The word they rejected my email for was this: "assc".
They said I committed this sin twice.
I looked through my text and found that
"assc" is just a few letters out of the middle of a DJ's name.
I didn't even know that "assc" was a bad word!
I guess the kids will think I'm a dweeb...
or a dumb assc.
My friend Dick Shuey was rejected because of his first name!
In fact, this whole article is true.
Dick says that my name is next.
I'm glad I didn't mention "Winnie the Pooh".
I could have been arrested.
This column will probably cause their computers to faint.
Copyright © April 14, 2006, Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission.