"Dreams And Ambitions"
Everybody should have a dream
or a life’s ambition.
Something to look forward to.
I have several:
To dress up in a carrot suit
and antagonize a pack of wild rabbits.
To make love to a super model
and then say "Let that be a lesson to you."
To give Bill O'Reilly a free colonoscopy.
To teach a squirrel to yodel.
To send Snow White a can of dwarf repellent.
To adopt an adult Korean.
To find out why Porky Pig and Donald Duck
wear jackets but no pants.
To get back to my original weight...
7 pounds, 8 ounces.
To hypnotize a chicken.
To play “Flight of the Bumblebee”
on musical breast implants.
To twist my neighbor's dog
into a balloon animal.
To open a string of “Chicken In the Casket” restaurants.
To spray WD-40 on a canary’s perch.
To follow a police car
and make him nervous.
To sing “My Way”
to an imaginary ferret.
And, to get my elbows pierced
so I can wear cufflinks
with a short-sleeved shirt.
We can only hope.
Copyright © March 21, 2005, Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission.
