"Bits Of Wisdom"
There were three wise men.
One of them taught me these bits of wisdom.
His name was Curly.
Our opinions are our most prized possessions.
I protect mine from your logic.
Anything is possible if you have a dream,
but not probable.
In America a child from humble beginnings
can grow up to be president.
But it's not likely.
Boredom is dangerous.
It stimulates excess thought, like this:
"Right now I'm going to sit here.
Then I plan to sit over there.
I've got it all worked out.
Hey! There's a documentary on PBS
about bus station cuisine in the 1930's!"
Cast your bread upon the waters,
and you get sharks.
What goes around may come around,
if it's the flu.
I used to be strong as an ox
and just as smart.
Thin people have some kind of a secret they won't tell us.
They try to make us think it's diet and exercise.
Won't exercise put mileage on my heart?
Everybody is nuts
when you get to know them.
No matter how it looks from the outside,
there is no such thing as one big happy family.
Nobody is as good
or as bad
as you think they are.
They are probably worse.
The problem with democracy is this:
The majority is dumber than we think.
The price of crude oil goes up a dime a barrel,
and they raise the price of gasoline thirty cents a gallon.
Nothing you can swallow is good for you.
Every newscast has a warning about the dangers of some food or medicine.
This gives us stress.
Stress lowers our resistance,
and is the main cause of illness.
Right now I don't feel too bad.
I wonder what that means?
Half the people in my address book are dead...
friends, enemies, relatives, and rivals.
The game is over, and nobody won.
Well, maybe me.
Every good deed contains a bit of selfishness,
even if it's to save our own soul,
or to like ourselves.
So help that blind guy across the street
whether he wants to go or not.
You'll feel better.
My brain is so packed with wisdom,
that just writing this eases the pressure.
Copyright © September 14, 2006 by Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved.
Reprinted by permission.
